Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
October 11, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
15,300 (1 today)
Favourites
0
Comments
17
×

"I think you have to know who you are. Get to know the monster that lives in your soul, dive deep into your soul and explore it." - Tori Amos
____________________

The past few months of my life have been utter and complete hell, but it is lessened and much more bearable by having the amazing people in my life that I do. Life has a way of showing you just who you need and who you are through fire and ice.

I've scars, both literal and metaphorical, and while the ones on the flesh have healed the deeper ones on the heart and soul will take time to heal. In time I hope to be able to be back to the me I'd worked so hard to be comfortable with, the me that strived for self and surround to be at peace. Right now I am but a fraction of that, relearning self-confidence, taking baby steps back to the beginning with a new perspective on life and the world around me.

The people that know me know me as the person they see within and not what someone tells them to believe or taking me for face value. I am more than the conjecture that is hanging about me, I am more than the armor and defenses I've built around myself I am at my greatest behest only Me. Take me or leave me for what and who I am or take your leave, this I've learned. I thank my friends and family for being the ones to help me realize that this hell isn't forever.

Thank you, all of you.

While I am still on the mend, a lot has happened, much of which I won't get into, though the biggest is finally having a full time job working as a Book Seller. It is rewarding and wonderful, absolutely perfect for me, and couldn't have come at a better time. While the 40hr a week swing shift does slow down my ability to do art tremendously, I have been able to start really creating again. Art is soulful for me again, its returned to that place in my heart it never should have left. And with the changes to myself, it too, has taken on a change of its own.

In due time there will be something up to reflect all this change, but for the meantime, the most evident changes are just within sight. A fresh start, a fresh face I am renewed.

-Nezmuth
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Run Like Hell - Two Steps From Hell
  • Watching: American Dad
Add a Comment:
 
:iconellisarts:
EllisArts Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
I can't say I have any clue as to what hurt you so much, but I have to say I am sorry to hear you were hurt. When we were in school *its ellis1342 by the way. This is a second account of mine* you were always so busy but so nice to everyone. I wish I could give you a hug in person, but here is a digital hug *hugs* Hope it helps. I would love to get back in touch with you. I still check your art out and really love how unique your art has become. I am still trying to find my footing. I will figure it out one of these days.
Reply
:iconsoulspoison:
soulspoison Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional General Artist
I tend to keep my personal life out of the internet spotlight to avoid more drama, because its just a breeding ground for it. :T
What I've gone through has sucked, but I'm at least glad I met the pain so if I have to face something like it again in the future I'll know how to handle it before it handles me.

I recognized you by your pony icon! <3

Internet hugs are always appreciated since irl ones don't happen all that often. I try to be nice to everyone, there's no point in being an ass to someone unless they personally tick me off and then I can't make promises lol! Yeah, likewise, its been ages since I've talked to you let alone seen you! I don't live in Indy anymore, so that might be hard to do. :<

Thank you for saying that, it really means a lot especially since I don't get to do as much with my art as I like having a "regular" job. I know you will! If its one thing I can say about your work is that it definitely has its own vibe and presence! I still love (and have) the trade pieces you did for me :D
Reply
:iconellisarts:
EllisArts Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional General Artist
That makes me happy. Send me a note and we can chat more. I would love to get back in touch with you. I am one of the very fortunate people out there who can do my art full time due to my disability preventing me from working a 'normal' job. *Snugs* Have one more net hug :)
Reply
:iconauroraaliuna:
AuroraAliUna Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
*hugs a sister* Things always change, sometimes better, sometimes worse, I hope you get some of the better coming your way, you certainly have earned it by now. It is wonderful to hear you have a job going and I hope that works out well for you hon.
Reply
:iconsoulspoison:
soulspoison Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional General Artist
*hugs* I'm hoping the better comes my way too, sick to death of being down-trodden. :\
So far so good! Two months in and I still don't hate it lol
Reply
:iconauroraaliuna:
AuroraAliUna Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
Remember, its not whether or not you kill your coworkers, its all about how well you hide the bodies! ;3
Reply
:icontenshishu:
TenshiShu Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013
I think I am familiar with the place you work.  If you like I could come in and see you sometime and give you a great big hug!
Reply
:iconsoulspoison:
soulspoison Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional General Artist
You definitely should! I haven't seen you in so long ;  ;
Reply
:icontenshishu:
TenshiShu Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013
Cody and I will be in at some point.  Do you work days or evenings?
Reply
:iconcyberhorn:
cyberhorn Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
offers hugs, im heading down a bad path myself with the sides crumbling im glad your doing better
Reply
Add a Comment: